How Playing a Musical Instrument Strengthens Social Bonds and Peer Relationships

When children play musical instruments, they aren’t just learning melodies—they’re connecting with others on a deeper emotional level. Music-making can help kids better understand the feelings of those around them, foster prosocial behavior, and even encourage kindness and cooperation. Research reveals that shared musical experiences promote empathy, trust, and stronger relationships. Below, we’ll explore how music-making strengthens social bonds and offer some fun activities parents can try at home.


Music Builds Empathy

Making music together requires children to listen closely to one another and react to subtle emotional cues. As they harmonize or keep time in a group setting, kids develop a heightened sensitivity to their peers’ feelings and perspectives. Research by Rabinowitch, Cross, and Burnard (2013) found that children involved in group music-making were more empathetic and understanding than their non-musical peers. This isn’t just about following a beat—it’s about connecting on a human level. [Read the study here]

Try This at Home:

Create a “mood music” game with your child. Play a short rhythm or tune and have them identify how it makes them feel—happy, calm, or excited. Then switch roles and let your child play a rhythm for you. Discuss how the sounds make each of you feel. This helps children learn how to express and recognize emotions in a safe, playful environment.


Rhythmic Synchrony Promotes Prosocial Behavior

There’s something powerful about playing in sync with others. Research by Kirschner and Tomasello (2010) demonstrated that rhythmic synchrony in music-making increases prosocial behavior, such as helping and sharing. When children align their timing, they feel more connected and are more likely to cooperate. By physically synchronizing their movements, kids form bonds that extend beyond the music. [Explore the research]

Try This at Home:

Hold a “drum circle” at home using whatever percussion instruments you have on hand—drums, shakers, or even the kitchen table. Start with a simple rhythm that everyone plays together, then let your child lead a new rhythm for everyone to follow. This shared activity teaches kids how to work as a team, strengthens their sense of belonging, and encourages cooperative behavior.


Emotional Connection Through Joint Performance

When children perform music together—whether it’s a duet with a sibling or a group song with friends—they share emotional highs and lows. The joy of nailing a tricky section or the frustration of a missed note becomes a shared experience, which builds emotional bonds. Children learn to support each other, boosting their overall sense of connectedness. [More from Rabinowitch et al., 2013]

Try This at Home:

Have a “family concert” night. Each family member can choose a song to play or sing, and then join in for a group finale. As your child feels the joy of performing with loved ones, they’ll experience the emotional connection that comes from making music together. This bond will help them build stronger friendships in other areas of life.


Music Fosters a Sense of Community

Ensembles and bands provide children with a “musical family.” Even at home, creating a regular routine of playing music together can replicate this sense of belonging. Being part of a musical group allows children to feel included, valued, and respected. They learn that their contributions matter, which enhances their self-esteem and reinforces positive social relationships. [See more on the social benefits of music]

Try This at Home:

Host a weekly family jam session where everyone plays or sings together. Over time, these sessions will become a cherished tradition, giving your child a sense of identity and community. As they feel valued in this setting, they’ll carry that confidence into other social situations, strengthening their ability to form and maintain friendships.


Encouraging Prosocial Behavior Through Musical Activities

Research consistently shows that children involved in group music-making are more likely to help others, share resources, and cooperate. These are all essential social skills that help them build meaningful relationships. The more children participate in these cooperative musical experiences, the more their kindness and prosocial behavior will grow. [Find more in Kirschner and Tomasello’s study]

Try This at Home:

Organize a musical “give-and-take” game. Play a tune or rhythm and then pause, allowing your child to “answer” with their own rhythm. Repeat the process, creating a musical conversation. This playful exchange teaches children the value of listening, responding, and supporting each other—skills that enhance their ability to form close, supportive relationships.


Playing a musical instrument is much more than a creative outlet—it’s a gateway to deeper social connections. As research by Rabinowitch et al. (2013) and Kirschner and Tomasello (2010) shows, musical interactions can strengthen bonds, promote empathy, and encourage prosocial behavior. By incorporating these simple activities and games at home, parents can help their children experience the joy of music while building stronger friendships and social skills that will last a lifetime.

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