When children pick up an instrument, they’re doing more than learning music—they’re building valuable life skills that strengthen relationships and help them connect with others. By playing music in groups, children learn to listen, take turns, and work together, all while fostering a sense of unity and belonging. Over time, these experiences help them form deeper friendships, develop trust, and build the social confidence they need to thrive.
This article will explore how playing a musical instrument strengthens social bonds and offer simple activities parents can try at home to encourage cooperation and teamwork.
Learning to Work Together as a Team
One of the most powerful aspects of making music is the need for cooperation. In an ensemble or band, every musician must coordinate their playing so that the group’s overall sound is harmonious. This level of collaboration teaches children to listen closely, support each other, and prioritize the collective success of the group over individual performance. Research by Kirschner and Tomasello (2010) showed that children who engaged in brief, synchronized musical activities displayed more cooperative behaviors than those who participated in non-musical activities. [Explore the study]
Try This at Home:
Hold a simple “jam session” with your child. Use household objects as instruments—pots, pans, spoons, and shakers—and choose a familiar song to play along to. As you play, take turns leading and following, teaching your child the importance of listening to others and staying in sync. This fun, collaborative activity mirrors the teamwork involved in group music-making and lays the groundwork for stronger relationships.
Strengthening Friendships Through Shared Goals
When children work toward a common musical goal—like mastering a song or performing at a recital—they naturally form stronger bonds with their peers. These shared experiences help children feel connected, valued, and supported by those around them. Rabinowitch, Cross, and Burnard (2013) found that children involved in group music-making developed deeper social connections and were more likely to support each other outside of music settings. [Read the study here]
Try This at Home:
Create a “musical challenge” where you and your child learn a short piece together. Start with simple rhythms, then add melodies or harmonies as you progress. As you practice and improve together, emphasize the importance of teamwork and encourage your child to celebrate the effort you both put in, not just the end result.
Building Trust Through Musical Collaboration
Music requires children to rely on one another, whether it’s following a conductor’s cue or adjusting to a fellow player’s tempo. This mutual reliance fosters trust and helps children feel more comfortable working closely with others. The collaborative nature of group music-making helps them see the value in each person’s contribution and strengthens their ability to cooperate in non-musical situations as well. [More insights from Kirschner and Tomasello’s research]
Try This at Home:
Play a musical “pass-the-beat” game. Start by clapping or tapping a simple rhythm, then have your child repeat it. Continue adding more complex rhythms, taking turns leading and following. By focusing on timing and listening, this activity reinforces trust and mutual respect as you both learn to rely on each other to keep the beat going.
Fostering a Sense of Belonging
When children play music in a group, they feel like they’re part of something bigger than themselves. This sense of belonging helps them build positive self-esteem and develop stronger relationships. It’s not just about the music—it’s about knowing their contributions matter. In family music-making sessions, the same dynamic applies. Creating a regular routine of playing music together can help children feel valued, respected, and more connected to their loved ones. [See more on the benefits of group music-making]
Try This at Home:
Host a weekly family music night where everyone plays or sings a song together. It doesn’t have to be perfect—what matters is the shared experience. Over time, your child will look forward to these moments of connection, and they’ll carry that sense of belonging into their social interactions at school and with friends.
Playing a musical instrument offers children far more than technical skills—it teaches them how to listen, trust, and collaborate. By exploring these fun, simple activities at home, you’ll not only help your child develop stronger social bonds and friendships but also give them the tools they need to navigate relationships with confidence and empathy.